DISINTEGRATION
  1. Plainsong
  2. Pictures of You
  3. Closedown
  4. Lovesong
  5. Last Dance
  6. Lullaby
  7. Fascination Street
  8. Prayers for Rain
  9. The Same Deep Water as You
  10. Disintegration
  11. Homesick
  12. Untitled

Plainsong

"i think it's dark and it looks like rain" you said
"and the wind is blowing like it's the end of the
world" you said "and it's so cold it's like the
cold if you were dead" and then you smiled for
a second.

"i think i'm old and i'm in pain" you said
"and it's all running out like it's the end of the
world" you said "and it's so cold it's like the
cold if you were dead" and then you smiled for
a second

sometimes you make me feel like i'm living at
the edge of the world like i'm living at the edge
of the world "it's just the way i smile" you said

Pictures of You

i've been looking so long at these pictures of
you that i almost beleive that they're real i've
been living so long with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can
feel

remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brigther than the snow and
screamed at the make-beleive screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything

if only i had thought of the right words i could
have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

looking so long at these pictures of you but i
never hold on to your heart looking so  long for
the words to be true but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
apart all my pictures of you

Closedown

i'm running out of time i'm out of step and
closing down and never sleep for wanting hours
the empty hours of greed and uselessly always
the need to feel again the real belief of
something more than mockery if only i could
fill my heart with love

Lovesong

whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel
like i am home again whenever i'm alone with
you you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel
like i am young again whenever i'm alone with
you you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away i will always love you however
long i stay i will always love you whatever
words i say i will always love you i will always
love you

whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel
like i am free again whenever i'm alone with
you you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away i will always love you however
long i stay i will always love you whatever
words i say i will always love you i will always
love you

Last Dance

i'm so glad you came i'm so glad
you remembered to see how we're endeding our last
dance together expectant too puctual but
prettier than ever i really believed that this time
it's forever

but older than me now more constant more real
and the fur and the mouth and the innocence
turned to hair and contentment that hangs in
abesement a woman now standing where once
there was only a girl

i'm so glad you came i'm so glad you
remembered the walking through walls in the
heart of december the blindness of happiness
of falling down laughing and i really believed
that this time was forever

but christmas falls late now flatter and colder
and never as bright as when we used to fall all
this in an instant before i can kiss you a woman
now standing were once there was only a girl

i'm so gled that you came i'm so glld you
remembered to see how we're ending our last
dance together reluctantly cautiously but
prettier than ever i really beleived that this time
it's forever

but christman falls late now flatter and colder
and never as bright as when we used to fall and
even if we drink i don't think we would kiss in
the way that we did when the woman was only a
girl

Lullaby

on candystripe legs spiderman comes
softly through the shadow of the evening sun
stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
looking for the victim shivering in bed
searching out fear in the gathering gloom and
suddenly! a movement in the corner of the
room! and there is nothing i can do when i
realise with freight that the spiderman is having
me for dinner tonight

quietly he laughs and shaking his head creeps
closer now closer to the foot of the bed and
softer than shadow and quicker than flies his
arms are all around me and his tongue in my
eyes "be still be calm be quiet now my precious
boy don't struggle like that or i will only love
you more for it's much too late to get away or
turn on the light the spiderman is having you
for dinner tonight"

and i feel like i'm being eaten by a thousand
million shivering furry holes and i know that in
the morning i will wake up in the shivering cold
and the spiderman is always hungry...

Fascination Street

oh it's opening time down on fascination street
so let's cut the conversation and get out for a
bit because i feel it all fading and paling and i'm
begging to drag you down with me to kick the
last nail in yeah i like you in that like i like you
to scream but if you open your mouth then i
cant be responsible for quite what goes in or
to care what comes out so just pull on your hair
just pull on your pout and let's move to the beat
like we know that it's over if you slip going
under slip over my shoulder so just pull on your
face just pull on your feet and let's hit opening
time down on fascination street

so pull on your hair pull on your pout cut the
conversation just open your mouth pull on your
face pull on your feet and let's hit opening time
down on fascination street

Prayers for Rain

you shatter me your grip on me a hold on me
so dull it kills you stifle me infectious sense of
hopelessness and prayers for rain i suffocate i
breathe in dirt and nowhere shines but desolate
and drab the hours all spent on killing time
again all waiting for the rain

you fracture me your hands on me a touch so
plain so stale it kills you strangle me entangle
me in hopelessness and prayers for rain i
deteriorate i live in dirt and nowhere glows but
drearily and tired the hours all spent on killing
time again all waiting for the rain

The Same Deep Water as You

kiss me goodbye pushing out before i sleep
can't you see i try swimming the same deep
water as you is hard "the shallow drowned lose
less than we" you breathe the strangest twist
upon your lips "and we shall be together..."

"kiss me goodbye bow your head and join with
me" and face pushed deep rteflections meet
the strangest twist upon your lips and
dissapear the ripples clear and laughing break
against your feet and laughing break the mirror
sweet "so we shall be together..."

"kiss me goodbye" pushing out before i sleep
it's lower now and slower now the strangest
twist upon your lips but i don't see and i dont
feel but tightly hold up silently my hands
before my fading eyes and in my eyes your
smile the very last thing before i go...

i will kiss you i will kiss you i will kiss you
forever on nights like this i will kiss you i will
kiss you and we shall be together...

Disintegration

oh i miss the kiss of treachery the shameless
kiss of vanity the soft and the black and the
velvety up tight against the side of me and
mouth and eyes and heart all bleed and run in
thickening streams of greed as bit by bit it
starts the need to just let go my party piece

oh i miss the kiss of treachery the aching kiss
before i feed the stench of a love for a younger
meat and the sound that it makes when it cuts
in deep the holding up on bended knees the
addiction of duplicities as bit by bit it starts
the need to just let go my party piece

but i never said i would stay to the end so i
leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
screaming me over and over and over i leave
you with photographs pictures of trickery
stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery
songs about happiness murmured in dreams
when we both us knew how the ending would
be...

so it's all come back round to breaking apart
again breking apart like i'm made up of glass
again making it up behind my back again
holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
holding it up behind my head again cut in deep
to the heart of the bone again round and round
and round and it's coming apart again over and
over and over

now that i know that i'm breaking to pieces i'll
pull out my heart and i'll feed it to anyone
crying for sympathy crocodile cry for the love
of the crowd and the three cheers from
everyone dropping through sky through the
glass of the roof through the roof of your mouth
through the mouth of your eye through the eye
of the needle it's easier for me to get closer to
heaven than ever feel whole again

i never said i would stay to the end i knew i
would leave you with babies and everything
screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
screaming me over and over and over i leave
you with photographs pictues of trickery
stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
songs about
happiness murmured in dreams when we both
of us knew how the end always is...

how the end always is...

Homesick

hey hey! just one more and i'll walk away all
the everything you win turns to nothing today
and i forget when to move when my mouth is this
dry and my eyes are bursting  hearts in a blood-
stained sky oh it was sweet it was wild and oh
how we...i trembled stuck in honey honey
cling to me so just one more just one more go
inspire in me the desire in me to never go home

oh just one more and i'll walk away all the
everything you win turns to nothing today so
just one more just one more go inspire in me
the desire in me to never go home

Untitled

hopelessly drift in the eyes of the ghost again
down on my knees and my hands in the air again
pushing my face in the memory of you again
but i never know if it's real never know how i
wanted to feel never quite said what i wanted
to say to you never quite managed the words to
explain to you never quite knew how to make
them beleivable and now the time has gone
another time undone hopelessly fighting the
devil futility feeling the moster climb deeper
inside of me feeling him gnawing my heart away
hungrily i'll never lose this pain never dream of
you again

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